Pointless, poorly thought out crap? Probably.
Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 10:09AM 
Much like in the supermarkets with their check-out lanes stocked with inexpensive (yet often overpriced), a visit to the counter at your big name music retailers leaves you surrounded with goodies and trinkets to tack on to that bill. Most of it is pretty cheap stuff; the kind of thing you didn't know existed until you saw it. Oddly enough, you also didn't know you needed it until you saw it. Most of this stuff, needless to say it junk. They have these kinds of products in every industry, and ours is no exception. Do you really need that extra 8-pack of tension rods that don't exactly fit any of your drums? What about the pack of MooonGels that you probably won't use yourself, but the drummer at school uses all the time? Oh! Look at this, a silly putty like practice pad that will sit in my gearbag and melt during the summer... and only $14.95? What a steal!
Again, some of this stuff is good. A lot of times one can find really good deals mounted on the walls of their Sam Ash or GC. However companies know that for a minimal cost, they can pump out a few thousand units of junk, label it a wonder, and make a few bucks in the long term. These are the things I'm talking about right now.
Marketing claims are everywhere. Most of them (a vast majority) are bullshit. Plain and simple. They make outrageous claims to improve your sound, your playing, your technique, your speed, your everything. You sound? That's maybe the only remotely plausible thing that could be affected. Maybe... Everything else? Just small adjustments and practice. You don't need me to tell you that. Or, maybe you do? Either way, here we are. Internet reader and obscure skeptical blogger.
First up on the chopping block? CYMPAD's new Hi-Hat Washer System. As George Carlin always recommends, watch out for "systems". They're everywhere. Everything is a damn system. Apparently now, a few pieces of stamped out foam can be considered a "system". If your hi-hat is next to you, take a look at it. What are the washers made of? Felt? Probably. Some Mapex stands and a lot of Pearl stands use either rubber or foam pads, with their own little proprietary design. This is fine, since they came with the stand, and I'm sure most of us didn't buy a $119 dollar triple boom for the sake of it's isolating cymbal pads. Right guys? ....right?
By the way, I don't indent blog posts. Grazi's please spare me.
These things are purported to:
enhance the sound of virtually and Hi-Hat cymbals while also improving the performance of most standard, auxiliary, and remote Hi-Hat stands and holders.
Really? Wow! I should get these right now! Where's the buy button! Wait hold on... do I really have money to burn on something like this? Moreover, is my hi-hat sound lacking at all? Is yours? The short answer is no. It's not. Not unless you're using some budget hats, that just sound kind of bad on their own. Nothing wrong with that, we play with what we can afford. However those on a budget with possibly low-end hats are exactly the ones who should not be buying into these sorts of claims. They also say that will provide a:
higher level of quality and consistency along with natural shock absorption and a fuller cymbal sound.
Again, really? Let's start with the sound. How exactly would a product like this (a foam cymbal pad), enhance the sound of a pair of cymbals? Do you know? I don't. It's been pretty well evidenced (by a ridiculously large consensus of drummers everywhere) that the only real way to improve your cymbal sound is to...get better cymbals! What a novel idea. If you're playing B8s or ZBTs, they are going to sound like their price tag. That's the unfortunate reality with most cymbals. There are exceptions, but with hats, rides, and crashes, this is the norm. If you are playing a pair of New Beats, or some HH Darks, you probably don't think your sound needs much improvement.
Don't buy into these claims, and spend a penny of your limited money on something that can't possibly do anything for you. Save it. These claims are ridiculous, especially pertaining to a system of cymbals that, by design, works by being choked. Hats are most often closed, so what benefit would enhanced anything have? Certainly not more sustain or resonance.
The claims here of "higher level of quality and consistency" mean absolutely fucking nothing. Actually, that pisses me off the most, considering they don't pin it to any value. You get a higher level of quality and consistency. Quality of what? What is being more consistent? Tell me! Lastly, that shock absorption crap is really low. Younger players are often having hand or wrist issues. Reading that will surely attract the interest of a concerned parent, or pain-stricken player. Spend some money, and your problems will go away! That's essentially what it's saying, they can't bullshit me. Your real solution is in your technique. Holding your sticks properly. Learning to play off the drums and not through them. There are so many resources for these methods that are the real deal. Methods that allow you to reduce shock in your playing by ways of adjusting what you do with your sticks. Jojo Mayer's DVD is fantastic in this respect.
Lastly, this thing only costs $10.95 (US). That might not seem like much on a tab of $3000, but that could mean a lot to a new player, or budget play who just came in for some sticks. A pair of sticks can cost $9. Does it seem fair to market a few discs of foam that were most likely made for pennies to anyone. It doesn't to me. How much research really went in to these things? Do you find it believable that someone spent long hours testing foam densities and thicknesses to find the perfect product to deliver on these claims? I don't, not for a damn second.
More of these to come. I'm getting tired of these foolish products.
Post written by sticktodrum.
